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Lucha Underground 5/11/2016

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Last week on Lucha Underground, Sexy Star unleashed an uncensored F Bomb on free cable television.

Also, some Aztec Medallions were given out in squash matches though Chavo Guerrero Jr stole Cage’s medallion. This week, we have the return of Grave Consequences between Mantanza and Mil Muertes but this time the consequences will be graver as there’s a casket for each corner of the ring!

The Time: May 11th, 2016
The Place: The Temple
The Hosts: Matt Striker and Vampiro

The show begins with Dario Cueto meeting with Councilman Lorenzo Llamas(I hear that Renegade) at some bar. Dario pays Councilman Renegade money and goes to leave, but he’s stopped. Dario’s warned that he’s getting sloppy and the police are investigating him plus there may be a man on the inside(there isn’t, THERE’S 2 GUYS!). Councilman Llamas also says that his employer is ready to jump in and do stuff making sure Mantanza doesn’t have all the fun.

JOEY RYAN vs. MR. CISCO vs. CORTEZ CASTRO.

This match is for an Aztec Medallion, I think it’s the last medallion out of the set. Joey Ryan comes kicking everybody’s ass at the start but Cisco and Cortez double team him. Joey Ryan rolls out of the ring so Cisco and Cortez fight each other. Joey then runs in and pins Joey for the win. It was short…

WINNER: JOEY RYAN

By the way, those two men on the inside investigating Dario Cueto…Joey Ryan and Cortez Castro. Now their wacky police antics are bleeding into the ring.

Mil Muertes is praying and Catrina says she’s been praying for this moment for 197 years, that is oddly specific. Then she says that she saved Mil from the Earthquake when he was a boy and then from death itself as a man from the fallout of Grave Consequences 1. She wants Mil to kill Mantanza and watch Catrina as she gives Mantanza the lick of death.

King Cuerno rises from his throne….for some reason.

IVELISSE/SON OF HAVOC/JOHNNY MUNDO vs. PRINCE PUMA/DRAGON AZTECA JR/REY MYSTERIO JR.

This match is for the Trios Championship. Angelico is still injured so that’s why Mundo is teaming up with Son of Havoc and Ivelisse and suffice to say, Mundo brought Taya with him. Rey Mysterio still looks ashamed to associate with Prince Puma and Dragon Azteca’s weak headdresses.

Ivelisse and Dragon Azteca Jr start things off. They shake hands cause they follow the Code of Honor. Match starts slow with Azteca doing a waistlock takedown to Ivelisse and then both guys trade armbars. Then they go for pins and after that do a kip-up at the same time but Ivelisse ankle, the one that’s been giving her problems, bothers her. Azteca, like a gentleman, lets her tag out to Son of Havoc as he tags out to Rey Mysterio. They shake hands, cause they also follow the Code of Honor! Anyways, they do highly entertaining flips and stuff. But it does lead to a cool spot where they got their legs tangled together so on the count of three, they slowly put their legs down…and then go back to fighting.

Then Johnny Mundo blind tags himself in so Rey tags in Prince Puma. THEY DO NOT FOLLOW THE CODE OF HONOR! Puma is just punching the good looks off of Mundo’s face but Mundo throws Puma out of the ring and Taya puts the boots to Puma outside. Ivelisse argues with Taya and Mundo throws Puma into the ring then flips off Ivelisse. Puma tags in Azteca with Mundo tagging in Havoc. They’re evenly matched but perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. Havoc tags in Ivelisse to Mundo’s displeasure and they she beats the hell out of Dragon Azteca Jr. Havoc and Rey are back in with Rey going for the 619 but Ivelisse trips him up. They argue but that just leads Mundo the opportunity for a springboard dropkick. Rey ducks so Ivilesse gets the full brunt out of that.

Prince Puma takes him out and Dragon Azteca Jr puts him on the steel barricade. Back to Son of Havoc and Rey, Rey tries a 619 but Havoc counters that. Havoc tries to go on the offense but Rey puts him back into 619 position and hits it! Then he tags in Prince Puma, hits the 630 splash for the pin. It was fine but we seen better from everyone.

WINNER: PRINCE PUMA/DRAGON AZTECA JR/REY MYSTERIO JR

Johnny Mundo and Taya yell at Ivelisse and blame her for the loss then Taya just blindsides Ivelisse. The champions just walk away…our masked heroes everyone.

MANTANZA w/DARIO CUETO vs. MIL MUERTES w/CATRINA

Time for Grave Consequences II: Consequences Graver! The Day of the Dead folks go out and set up the coffins for this match. This is for the Lucha Underground championship. Mil comes out of the gates storming but Mantanza hits a German suplex on him and then a clothesline. He throws Mil out of the ring and he lands on a casket. Mantanza grabs another casket so they are side-by-side. Catrina grabs a chair and breaks it on Mantanza BUT THAT JUST MAKES HIM MAD! He chokes Catrina but Mil saves her with a spear. Now it’s Mil Muertes turn to drag coffins and then throws a floral arrangement on Mantanza.

Mantanza recovers and POWERBOMBS MIL ON A CASKET! Mantanza goes and tries to disassemble a ring post but Mil recovers and stops that, putting Mantanza back in the ring. Or that was the plan as they brawl on the apron until Mil hits the Flatliner on Mantanza onto TWO CASKETS! Mil puts one casket in the ring but Dario Cueto grabs Mils leg so he grabs Dario, who is on the floor, by the throat and lifts him to the ring apron. Mantanza saves Dario and gives Mil a couple Gutwrench Powerbomb. But on the third Mil escapes and spears Mantanza, apparently it’s called the Reapers Trident in what seems to be the dumbest thing to come out of Matt Strikers mouth.

Mil finishes Mantanza’s attempt to disassemble a ring post and he grabs a steel hook, the thing that hooks the ropes to the post. He tries to hit Mantanza with it but Matanza BLOCKS! Mantanza grabs the hook and hits Mil Muertes with it. He then goes and tears Mil Muertes back! You know this just got real as Mantanza grabs the hook and hits Mil’s bare face with it a few times. Mil is bleeding his own undead blood but all that does is to motivate Mil to chokeslam Mantanza on a casket.

Mil goes under the ring and pulls out A LEAD GLOVE(????). Mil puts it on and punches Mantanza in the mask with it. It seems to be an attempt to break it. Mantanza low blows Mil and gets a casket lid and throws it out of the ring…for some reason. He then throws the casket out of the ring…for some reason again. He gets another coffin and puts Mil in it, he goes to slam it shut but Mil is blocking the attempt with his foot! Mil says “screw it” and PUNCHES THROUGH THE CASKET TO PUNCH MANTANZA IN THE FACE! Mil escapes the coffin and he’s angry, real angry! Mantanza gets another coffin but Mil knocks Mantanza out with the ring bell. Dario tries to revive Mantanza but Catrina just slaps the taste out of his mouth, knocking Dario down!

Mantanza revives and knocks out Catrina and steals the stone that powers Mil Muertes then puts in a casket. He then gets the knocked out Catrina and puts her in the casket, slamming it shut! Mil is pissed..so pissed he does a suicide dive on Mantanza. Mil grounds and pounds Mantanza outside the ring before going back to the ring and drag the only intact casket into the ring. Mil opens the casket and gets Mantanza in the casket but he can’t get it shut. Mantanza is too powerful! He knocks Mil out with a punch, then powerbombs him on the casket. That casket ain’t intact no more! Mantanza re-opens the casket but Mil revives and fights back. But Mantanza grabs Mil, hits another Gutwrench Powerbomb into the casket and closes the lid, getting the victory.

A very good match but nowhere near as good as Grave Consequences I.

WINNER: MANTANZA

Dario grabs the mic from the ring announcer, Melissa Santos, and announces Mantanza the winner to the crowd’s overwhelming boos. He then opens Catrina’s casket BUT IT’S EMPTY! Then the Faces of Death, the Day of the Dead people come out and collect Mil Muertes casket to take it to the underworld. BUT ONE OF THEM IS KING CUERNO!

Meanwhile, outside the Temple Councilman Lorenzo(I hear that Renegade) goes to his employer’s limo and gives him the money Dario gave him. He tells him that he told Dario all the stuff at the beginning of the episode and says he’s the most powerful person in the world.

Fine episode, nothing too horrible but nothing great either.

About the author

Patrick Alexander

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