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Ring of Honor 4/27/2016

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Last time at Ring of Honor…NOTHING!

Which is why Ring of Honor has been showing the events of Honor Rising, an event they ran in Japan back in February. At the very least, it’s fun to see them in a place other than New Japan World with actual English Commentary. That and finally seeing Roderick Strong lose the Ring of Honor Television Championship to Tomohiro Ishii. Let’s get back to seeing what else happened at Honor Rising.

The Time: Sometime in February
The Place: Honor Rising in Japan
The Hosts: Kevin Kelly and Mr. Wrestling III

TETSUYA NAITO/JAY LETHAL w/Truth Martini vs. OKADA/YOSHI HASHI

The humor of this is that when this filmed it was ROH champion vs. IWGP champion. Today, it’s the ROH champion and the IWGP champion teaming up! OK, lots and lots and lots and lots of stalling with Jay Lethal saying HE’S THE GREATEST! Now Jay Lethal and OKADA are doing stuff, just trading armbars but it’s kinda awesome. Now they transitioned into chain wrestling…I don’t think they’ve let go of each other since they locked up. Spoke too soon, they separate and Lethal goes for a Lethal Injection early but OKADA counters. Lethal tries to tag out but Naito is like nope, I don’t wanna cause I’m a lone wolf who doesn’t play by the rules…even my own rules!

Healthcare commercial.

Finally Naito tags in and he’s kicking Yoshi Hashi. Then he tags Lethal back in cause he just doesn’t care. Then Naito’s tags back in also cause he doesn’t care and just beats the crap out of Yoshi Hashi. And he hits OKADA off the ring apron, all this and Naito has done it with shirt on. OKADA gets the tag, possibly hat and he runs wild on Naito and Jay Lethal. Naito still has his shirt on. Jay Lethal gets the tag and he’s getting his revenge on OKADA. Naito goes in and they try to double-team OKADA so Naito has OKADA in a full nelson. Lethal goes for a superkick but he hits Naito instead! And OKADA tags in Yoshi Hashi so he’s avenging OKADA’s honor. Now it’s OKADA and Yoshi Hashi double teaming Jay Lethal. Jay gets Truth Martini’s Japanese version of The Book of Truth and tries to hit Yoshi Hashi with it but he misses. Then Truth Martini tries to interfere but he gets shoved off only for one of Naito’s cronies, I think they said his name was “Evil” or something successfully interferes. Jay hits the Lethal Injection of Yoshi Hashi and gets the pin. All the while Naito is reading the Book of Truth. This was decent but not much more.

WINNER: JAY LETHAL/TETSUYA NAITO

Naito just puts the boots on Yoshi Hashi. In the end, Jay Lethal attempts to shake hands with Naito and Naito accepts, though he teases punching Lethal out. Then Naito gives Lethal his hat while Lethal gives Naito the Book of Truth.

FRANKIE KAZARIAN vs. KUSHIDA

He has a purple Life Preserver. It makes a fitting tribute to Prince, even though this was taped in the past. Time is a funny thing. Immediately goes to a test of strength and this is not awesome. Then Kushida just slaps on an armbar on Kazarian but Kaz quickly goes to the ropes! Kushida gets some chain wrestling in as we go to more commercials.

We’re back and Kazarian just hits Kushida with a springboard DDT! And he just beats the hell out of Kushida then humps the air or something. Nobody knows what he was doing it with that. Thankfully, that’s quickly forgotten as Kazarian just beats Kushida up some more. Kushida finally gets his comeback and he also humps the air. But when he does it it’s called “Ride the Pony”. Kazarian tries to jump back in the ring and Kushida slaps A TRIANGLE CHOKE ON HIM! Kazarian gets out by poking Kushida in the eyes. Now they’re doing the boo-yay punch spot but we’re not in America so there’s silence. Kushida wins and tries for his own Lethal Injection but Kazarian reverses it into an Electric Chair! Kaz pins but only gets a 2 count. Kaz tries to get more offense but Kushida makes his comeback and kicks Kaz in the head really hard. He attempts his Hoverboard Lock and cinches it! Kazarian taps out. Basic match, functional but not much more than that.

WINNER: KUSHIDA

The greatest ROH commerical since Jay Lethal hawking a knee brace plays. The Cheeseburger T-Shirt spot!

Now, we have THE ADVENTURES OF MARK BRISCO IN JAPAN! He tries to search for Godzilla asking a random Japanese person where he was. He gives up and forages for food but he’s paralayzed by choice between rice and noodles. Then he notices a mechanical noodle thingy that has the greatest GIF of all time which I have provided for you guys!

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Then Mark Brisco gives us saftey lessons on what to do when an Earthquake hits so he dives under a narrow sign! Then the kicker is that Mark Brisco finds a billboard of chickens and he’s a chicken farmer. So watch out for Mark Brisco farming Japanese chickens in the future! And that’s the end of that.

THE YOUNG BUCKS/KENNY OMEGA vs. ReDRAGON/KATSUYORI SHIBATA

Kushida is on Japanese commentary! We will not hear it. Anywyays, Shibata throws the first shot and punches Kenny Omega in the face! And it’s a wild brawl from here…ok, a brawl. ReDragon what’s no part in the Young Bucks wackiness and just puts Young Bucks in armbars. Then Kenny Omega tries to make the save but Shibata comes in and PUTS HIM IN AN ARMBAR! However, Kenny Omega is too strong and he lifts Shibata up only to powerbomb him onto Kyle O’Reiley! And it’s pretty much a case of a battle between the seriousness of ReDragon and Hibata over the wackiness of The Young Bucks and Kenny Omega over a break.

So far the wackiness is winning. So far the Superkick Counter is at 0. The Suck it Counter is at a point where I want The Young Bucks dead. Thankfully Bobby Fish recovers and hits an Exploder Suplex on a Young Buck so he lands on the other Young Buck. He tags in Kyle O’Reiley and he runs wild. Shibuta gets in and he also runs wild. Finally we have a SUPERKICK! Then both Young Bucks and Kenny Omega hit a triple SUPERKICK! But Shibuta recovers enough to tag in O’Reiley and he counters a couple SUPERKICKS into dragon screws but Omega is too powerful and slams O’Reiley down. Then the Young Bucks hits a SUPERKICK on Bobby Fish. Then they try one on O’Reiley but he ducks and they SUPERKICK Kenny Omega instead. But then they hit a SUPERKICK on O’Reiley. Kenny Omega tries for a One-Wing Angel but O’Reiley counts that into a guillotine choke! A Young Buck tries to save but to no success. So the other Young Buck comes in with a spray can and sprays O’Reiley’s eyes, that works. The Young Bucks hit a Meltzer Driver and Kenny Omega finally hits the One Wing Angel for the pinfall. Meh, standard Young Bucks match where they pretty much marginalized ReDragon and Shibuta.

WINNER: THE YOUNG BUCKS/KENNY OMEGA

The show ends with more promises of more Bullet Club members with more Honor Rising coverage next week. It’s nice to see Ring of Honor in Japan and all but this show is something you can very easily skip.

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Patrick Alexander

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